Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Work or Not To Work - That was the Question

My plan was go back to work when Ellery was three months old - even though I can say that time-frame never felt right.  But when Ellery was 2.5 months old, I stopped into my place of employment and sat across from the CEO, my boss, with my little one and started to cry. Yep, bucket tears. I told him, "I know I said I would come back at three months, but I am not ready".  He was completely gracious and understanding. He started his business when his kids were young and built it into a what it is today - a multi-million dollar organization, but I know he missed out on a quite a bit of their childhood working 80 hours a week. Needless to say he completely understood and respected where I was coming from. He said to go home and be creative and figure out how you can make this work. So I did. For the next three months I worked from home part-time and went into the office one day a week with the understanding I would be back to the office full time when Ellery was six months old. I was always busy, but it was nice to be home with Ellery.

Then six months hit. I was going back to work right after the winter holidays. About a week or two before I went back to work, the water works started. Every time I thought about going back, I started balling; not just crying, but expelling all the water in the body to the point of dehydration. OK, I exaggerating at little  but hopefully that is visual enough to understand my heartache. This was the hardest decision for me; I thought I had to go back for the money, but I didn't want to. My heart wasn't in it. I know you all dont' know me well, but I was a ball breaking man when it came to work. I loved being successful and wanted to keep moving up - with the hopes of started my own business one day. So it was a shock to EVERYONE when I had a change of heart and didn't want to go back to work.

But here I was going back...

Things at the office changed. There was a cloud of negativity floating around and I hated it. Why was I dealing with this poo when I could be at home enjoying life with my daughter? And maybe just maybe start working on my dream of starting my own business? This was my thought every day for months. Plus on top of this, Ellery was in daycare and experiencing sickness after sickness being around other kids. Don't get me wrong we have an AMAZING in-home daycare, but the reality is when kids are around other little ones who get sick their immune systems aren't strong enough to ward it off. And the real kicker was, every time she got sick,  I got sick. I don't know how that was possible but without fail it happened. No matter how many vitamins I was taking, I was going down if she came home with something.

So after six months of dealing with her getting sick all of the time and me not wanting to be there any longer, I did it, I left. YIPEEE!!!!!! I finally took the leap of faith to stay home with Ellery and start my own business. I am living my dream....home with my daughter and building my business...life is good!

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